What Is Mediation & The Process For Divorce?

When children are involved in a divorce, it adds a layer of complexity to the process that deserves special attention. At some point in a divorce, the parties may request, or the Court may order mediation. Mediation opens lines of communication and allows parties to discover all settlement options to resolve their disputes. Everything said during mediation is confidential and (except as provided by law) may not be repeated to anyone other than the other party and/or the party’s attorney. Mediation gives parties more control over the outcome of their case, typically allows the case to be resolved quicker, and can save on the general expense involved in the divorce.

There are a variety of reasons for divorce. Many times, couples feel that divorce is unforgivable. There’s nothing further from the truth—a marriage that remains broken or abusive carries a much higher consequence than a divorce. There are essentially (10) choices that people make regarding a broken or abusive marriage. 1) Immediate discovery of marrying the wrong person and acting to have the marriage annulled 2) Early intervention to engage in spiritual or secular counseling to define and remediate the problems at hand 3) Attempting to change your spouse, only to find yourself failing in a variety of ways 4) Live in a state of denial—either believing that an average marriage represents the institution of marriage or believing that your marriage is fine, when in fact it’s dying 5) Have an affair—gaining short-term pleasure to replace the pain, and most times leads to a divorce or a contentious marriage 6) Agree to have an open relationship 7) Do nothing in the name of indifference, religion or guilt and become bitter & resentful— staying in the marriage against your will—potentially damaging the well-being of your children 8) Separation with the intent to negotiate terms for some type of positive intervention 9) File for divorce, and spend thousands of dollars on attorney and court fees 10) Engage in the process of Mediation and amicably accomplish numbers 8 or 9, quickly, and with far fewer costs

According to NOLO, Mediation is much less time-consuming than going to trial for your divorce. Some couples work through all divorce-related issues in one session, while others may meet multiple times before reaching an agreement. The amount of time you spend in mediation depends on how well you communicate and what issues you need to resolve.